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When you have intellectual chemistry with someone, they become your best friend. When you connect with someone intellectually, you connect with them on a meaningful emotional level, which is imperative in any relationship.

Physical chemistry, also known as sexual chemistry, makes your body (and you! In order to have a fulfilling relationship, you must have physical chemistry. The best relationships have passion, and lots of it.

After some confusion on my friends’ part, they eventually encouraged me to text him.

(After all, how often do you find a connection like this? I even drafted an email to him that, to this day, sits in my drafts folder—but he reached out to me first. And we were both convinced that the connection between us was tangible—not to mention tantalizing.

These discussions aren’t all that different from those of generations past: pick up lines have always been picked apart and the art of the voicemail analyzed by singles long before the advent of texting.

And many of the old, gendered traditions of who reaches out to whom and when have (for better or worse) persisted.

It’s the intangible that’s needed in a relationship. Intellectual chemistry and physical chemistry are very different, but both are needed in a relationship. For a relationship to flourish, intellectual chemistry is a necessity.

I am an effusive texter, and in past relationships I would get frustrated when my multi-text theses would be answered with “yeah” or “sure.” I needed someone who was just as willing to give themselves carpal tunnel as I was.

We didn’t share that passion for exploration that I had, and he wasn't open to trying new things.

After some time together, I had thought I could deal with our differences—until I met Sparks, and all that went out the window. Although things ended abruptly and with a lot of pain, I don't regret choosing Sparks over my stable boyfriend.

But what I started to think about was the different kinds of chemistry that we have in our relationships.

There are three different types of chemistry that are vital to having a successful intimate relationship: intellectual, sexual, and emotional chemistry.

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